A Piece of My Heart Will Always Be in the Crossroads...

Though my experiences in the past months have been exciting and led me near and far, there is nothing quite like the feeling of being home. I mean real home. I know it is so cliche, but mainly because it is true, home is where the heart is, mine just happens to be stuck back in Indiana.

I miss my home. Pretty badly. I know I sound much like a whiny two year old, and believe me, do I know how they sound. I miss my girls. I know they are merely a car ride from me, but walking distance would be so much better. My new home is nice and all, but it just isn't home yet. My heart has not charted its path here to Covington and as much as a try and force it to, its hiking boots and road map to my new place remain untouched as of late.

I know these things take time. I know people are worse off than I. But if I am honest for just a minute...I just miss the places and the people that made me...me.

Just call me the great learner....

I am still learning. I am pretty sure that whole process will endure me to me end. There are days where I look learning in the face and say "stop it, I am tired of growing. I want to rest a little bit."

I soon realize learning doesn't care too much weather I want to rest a bit.

Daily I see in my words and actions that I am not who I should be. This can be frustrating for someone who tends to analyze their likeability on a regular basis, a typical shortcoming of mine. But as learning keeps popping its little head in my life, I begin to see a transformation slowly taking charge. I have no doubt that God is moving on every aspect of my life, I just know that it may not be all the obvious sometimes. Even so, there are so many times I feel as though my struggle forward is against a dead weight wall. But again, learning tells me, this is all part of the process, to become a better version of the woman God has called me to be.

Refinement is never easy, and I guess I should just stop expecting it to be. My pride is broken daily, but I suppose I prefer this method to the "one fell swoop and it all fell apart" idea.

But...if there is anything I have gained from learning it is the humbling reality that I am not done yet. The reality that I am not wholly who I am supposed to be. And with that the understanding that no one else is quite there either. So each day my grace for others failings and misunderstandings must be big enough to cover my own shortcomings, if not, than who do I think I am? Someone worthy of judging others so righteously and indignantly?

So graciously excuse my construction signs, my "do not cross tape" and my tacky yellow and orange neon warnings. These are not meant to defer you, but simply let you know to I still have a little furthur to go. And in turn, I too, will do my best to pour a little cement on your potholes too.

"This year, this month, or, more likely, this very day, we have failed to practice ourselves the kind of behavior we expect from other people." - CS Lewis.

Hello Humility, my name is Caitlin...I believe we have met several times....