Not as long as I live...

Six years ago I was at a concert with four good friends. It was the summer before college, the whole world lay at my fingertips and I was genuinely smiling. It rained, and we danced. I don't remember a whole lot else from that night, just bits and pieces strung together through my photographs and blotchy memory. But I do remember, it rained, and we danced, and I thought not another summer night could top this one. Not as long as I lived.

Four years ago I was at my boyfriends house. He lived in the country, the sun was setting and the sky was painted with the most beautiful colors I have ever seen. It was rose and gold and orange and the faintest of twinkling blues. The stars were just starting right above a full moon and that boy kissed me. I don't remember a whole lot from that night either, just a photo and the smells of summer in the midwest. But I do remember that moon and the sky, and I thought not another summer night could top this one. Not as long as I lived.

Two years ago I was on a trip with my church. I had grown and had loved every minute, but someone was back home waiting for me. It was humid and smelled of grass, just like every summer in Indiana. We rode a bus home and made bracelets, but when I got off the bus my heart leapt. I felt like all was right in the world because my best friend was there to hug me for a whole five minutes and smile at me. To remind me about love. I don't remember a whole lot from that night, just the bracelets that I still have in my jewelry box. But I do remember the smell of his clothes and the feel of the air, and I thought not another summer night could top this one. Not as long as I lived.

One year ago I got out of bed at 5:00 am after a sleepless night of anticipation, tired but giddy. I grabbed my bag full of makeup, my dress and my shoes, put on a hoodie and had my mom drive me to my friend Claire's house. I walked in to a home full of people I love, the smell of coffee, and the knowledge that in a few short hours time, after pictures and music and lots of hugs, I would be married to the best man I know and the love of my life. I feel like I remember every second of that day sometimes, but what I remember the most is knowing, that truly, not another summer night could top this one. Not as long as I live.