why I suck at blogging....

I have always been about ten steps behind the times. To any onlooker, I look normal enough.

I finally caved to skinny jeans, I cut my hair regularly, I have even been known to shower from time to time. All that being said...there is a dark side to my seemingly average life.

I didn't get a cell phone until I was *gasp* 16 years old. And I didn't even have texting until I was graduated from college...which was only two years ago. I didn't get my license at  16, and I wasn't allowed to color my hair until high school.

I didn't even get a blog until after I started college.

Needless to say, I was always about 1 step behind everyone else my age.

Sometimes, it makes me feel like a caveman, because I scour the internet where my other friends tweet, text, update, facebook, and blog like champs. Their life is all put together and decked out in GAP and other adult clothing. They have regular photo albums and awesome blog thoughts that change the world everyday. They are probably super popular too, if you counted popularity by how many people follow their twitter. I start to feel like I missed the boat...again. And all I have to offer technology is the drool coming from my mouth and my body sweat, both attributed to my jealousy and the stress it causes me to realize that I am failing as a human.

It's like there is a competition for who can be the most connected and best updater...and frankly I am not sure I even qualified to enter this race. But I am sucked in nonetheless simply because of my age.

Somedays I get really brave and attempt to do things that are technological. That help me stay connected, hip, cool, and trendy. Like the other day when I started a second blog. Or when I got a twitter for my photography. I am not sure why I think adding more to my life means I will actually follow through with it. I think maybe I have convinced myself that if I feel more pressure I will preform better in the blog awards, or something. Like I will feel more legitimate about myself if I know I have written about my life that day, or tweeted where I am eating dinner, or who I am with. And I get really excited......because I think maybe finally I have found the key to staying up to date with technology, just pressuring myself into it. A twisted peer pressure.

That lasts for about 5 minutes. Because then I realize my life is boring, and also no one else is as interested in me or thinks I am as funny as I think I am. And I go through instant bloggers/tweeters/facebookers/emailers block.

I also think of about 50 other things I would rather be doing, than blogging/tweeting/facebooking/emailing. Like reading. Or talking to another person. Or eating some good food. Or staring at my dogs. Or making a craft. Or stalking people on facebook.

So then I do those things and I feel great about my decision. The only problem is, I get to the stalking people on facebook like a crazed fan part, and a twinge of guilt settles into my stomach. At first I think I am hungry again. Or perhaps a burrito was a bad idea. But that little twinge starts to grow into full throttle shame that, even at the age of 24, I can't seem to actually follow through with things.

Things that my fellow twenty-somethings seem to have mastered with ease and talent. Crap. How do people do it? So my guilt and shame grow just enough that I update a picture or two...only because I feel bad, I finally email that person back (even though I have been thinking about it non-stop...I just haven't sat down to actually do the responsible adult thing) and I update my blog with something useless about my life.

Sort of like this.

So although I wish I was responsible, tech savvy, and excellent at follow through...I am pretty sure I can go ahead and nominate myself for the suckiest blogger award. And win by a landslide.