Even my organizer is confused by my life...

Ch-Ch-Changes. Is that even from a song? What is that? It just seemed to fit with the theme of this lil blog and it seemed appropriate for the three seconds it took to write it. I am semi-regretting it now, but I try to have a no delete policy....

I love waking up early on these newest of fall days and wandering down the streets surrounding my house. It's a peaceful time when my imagination can wander through each home I pass, each person I say hello to. I realize there really is no rest for adulthood. There were days of "drama" in high school when I thought, "wow there is no way life could get more out of whack than this", but whack out it has. Thus the ch-ch-changes have come.

Jared is gone most of the week, leaving me unemployed and fending for myself with all the time in the world on my hands. I am packing to move for the third time this year, and I am still trying to figure out this whole newlywed thing. I suppose the whole lets only live together for three days a week thing kinda throws a kink in things.

Yet in all these changes the season of change has come along and comforted my soul. There is something so inspiring and peaceful the creates imagination out the yin-yang for me. So, I embrace the season of change around me, but not so much the one inside of me. O how the irony plays out in my life.

It seems each year pieces of my life shed and waft to the ground, much like the leaves floating outside my window. Most of the life changing moments for me have happened in the fall. The day I truly decided to fall in love with Christ, the day my dog passed away, the days I found myself stumbling into love for the first time with my husband, the day I moved from my childhood home, now: the day I will officially move from the place that has shaped me beyond what I believed and was my first real home.

Ah the changes come, and so, as I embrace the season, so will I embrace the pieces that fall out of my life. Mmmm...feel that cold breeze...I feel a change coming.

My Life as a Loner Loser

Well, these days my life seems to be coming to a deafening, frightening, boring halt.

I spend most of my days reuniting myself with the ways of the housewife that I endured previously this year...and hoped to never return to. I just need someone to remind me that this will only last for two more months.

So my new plans are as follows, now that I have free time and absolutely nothing to fill it with:

1. Clean the house...when I am not too lazy to do so.

2. Shop for groceries...on the days I venture from the house, what glorious days are these.

3. Plan a fall party, because who doesn't want to celebrate fall. Bonfire, cider, apples and pumpkin carving. Maybe even pie if you are lucky.

4. Consider going back to school then change my mind several times over.

5. Plan my best friends bridal shower and bachelorette extravaganzas...yes "s".

6. Consider watching the ever-classic "Pretty In Pink", "Breakfast Club", and "Sixteen Candles" who doesn't need a little Molly Ringwald in their lives.

7. Watch all my fave halloween movies

8. Possible venture to the Library for a card.

9. Get crafty...if Im lucky.

Well, now that you are jealous of my exciting life, I am off to plan all my exciting new adventures. Give me any ideas you have for free time use advantage!

I think God gave us mouths so we could learn to shut them...

Do you ever have those utterly demoralizing moments when you step away from your life and wonder where you are? You say, "hold the phone (a phrase I am still trying to figure out...what else are you doing with the phone, throwing it?) how the heck did I get here?"

My time away from people has become more and more difficult, so the time I do have with friends, I spend it making myself more important. I say too much and listen too little, and overall just have repeated foot in mouth scenarios I would rather not relive. I wish my mouth would let my brain catch up to it so my mouth would recieve the "shut up" signal in time. The more we say the less we think, and I am just so tired of living on the tip of my tongue. It is exhausting to cover ever silence, to speak every word across my mind, and apologize at least once a day for not thinking. I am truly convinced that God gave me a mouth to learn how to shut it.

So...today begins some changes in my life. I have seen, and I don't like what it is. So me and Jesus, we had a chat...and changes are a'coming. Just bear with me, as I am not all I should be, but truly wish I was. And watch out for the construction cones...they can be sneaky.

No, this is not about me or my life...just writing what I feel inspired to write.

She often wonders why living sometimes feels like drowning. Maybe not quite like the usual drowning, more like losing yourself in the midst of an overflowing sea of people. The stifle of ordinary can become so hard to deny on certain days. Yet, in the still moments of the day, just as it is all coming to a close, there is a mysterious beauty to a life lived in the day to day.

Grateful for the miracle of love, hearing a sigh or two reminds her of the gift of another day.