granola at heart

I am a granola lovin, earth huggin, maple leaf astonished girl at heart. Can't help it, but I think I know why.

I think I know why nature is so overpoweringly beautiful to me. Why it seeps into every corner of my soul, why something about it gives me peace and teaches me something that was mysterious to me before.

Nature reveals to me when I am being an Atheist Christian. When I believe that God is real, but I forget the rest. When I forget who God is, not just what I think He is.

When I forget how big He is, I am reminded by the pine in my back yard how incredible small and fleeting I am. When I forget how much love flows out from Him, how all encompassing and complete it it, I look at the delicate things: the flowers, the honeybee, the ant. I look at the food I get to eat, the garden I am cultivating in my own back yard, each plant grown from a small single seed. And I see the abounding love of my God. I see the provision and delight my God possesses for us.

And when I wonder if I will overcome, if I will fight the same battle with fear for the rest of my life. When I wonder if I will ever remember what it feels like to be free or to breathe deeply with no fear in my bones, all I have to do is shuffle into my own back yard, lay down in the sweet cool grass and stare up into the enveloping skies. I see the bigger point then. I know the bigger story then. And I know we; He in me, has already won.

So maybe I am a hippie at heart. Myabe I will bake you some homemade bread, or grow my own tomatoes. Maybe I do love all things organic. But I think it is because God made me to see Him that way. God made me to see how everything we touch, taste, and see all connects back to the bigger story of who He is, and, oh how much He loves us.

Nature. Creation, to me is the start of the story. Yes, that story of oh how much He loves us.

So pass the darn granola...and go hug a tree.