I have really been struggling with contentedness in different situations throughout my life thus far. As I tried to sort through the meaning behind this I found myself realizing it was because my idea of who I am and God's idea of who I am are different. I value myself much to highly in the grand scheme of God's purpose, and often view my menial tasks as purposeless. My conclusion...my submission to God has become some sort of conditional idea where I think I need to feel like I am being used or noticed. How sad, and incredibly selfish my service has become.
Sifting through all of this I have come to see that where I am is where I am, and never is it on accident. I may not be in ministry. I may not feel like I am placed in a situation where I am using my gifts or potential, but that kind of is the point. Contentedness cannot be situational, and for me it has become all about what I think of my situation. No wonder being submissive to God has eluded me this year. My incomplete view of God has caused my useful potential and growth to suffer. It is so silly for us to think that we should only do things where we are gifted. God must grow us somehow, and challenging our weakness is really the only way.
I am not above what I am doing as a nanny, or a wife, or a friend. I am not above the ordinary life, and I have no right to go around trying to change every circumstance I am placed in. If I am in rhythm with my Father, then I am exactly where He wants me. He reminded me of this:
He has never promised me I will be content with everything in my life, but He has assured me He will make me LEARN to be content in everything.
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