They Caught me Riding Dirty...

Hmm, not sure if that is a good title for this post, because truthfully, I have no idea what it really means to be riding dirty, therefore if I have in some way offended you with that title, sorry. I am just a five year old masquerading as an adult, forgive me.

Yesterday was an epic day to add to my personal driving record. I am pretty sure when I write a book, it will revolve around the episodes involving my car.

Driving through my neighborhood like any other usual morning, only this one was a bit misty with the spring fog, I come upon the usual useless stop signs. It is 8:00 am. There is no one here, as per the usual routine of a neighborhood housing a total of 25 humans. So I stop, but immediately let my foot of the break to switch back over to the gas and continue on my merry way.

This is what is known as a rolling stop. Now I know some of you may not know that this particular type of driving had a name, mostly because everyone in America stops like this in unpopulated neighborhoods, especially when able to see (yes even me with my squinty, non-seeing eyes) that there is absolutely no one sitting at any of the other stop signs. Unfortunately, this is a violation. So, next time you see every car in America do what is known as a rolling stop, going 2 miles an hour, you have been warned not to follow their example.

Back to the story. As I roll ever so slightly through this insignificant stop sign, I look to my right and see, as per usual on any given day in my slightly over protected neighborhood, a jolly little copper sitting in his car waiting for this exact moment to take place. Side note: there are two cross streets in my neighborhood. Yup, count 'em two. Everyday this fellow is sitting on one of them, waiting like a crouching tiger to pounce upon those of us flouting the law with our deadly rolling stops.

I have a slight moment of panic, but then dismiss it thinking "surely, yes, surely a 2 mile an hour rolling stop is not enough to get pulled over".

Surely indeed. 2 minutes later I sit sobbing (yes, the most embarrassing thing ever to do in front of a cop) explaining why I have an Ohio registration, Kentucky plates, and an Indiana license. Embarrassing? Why, yes. Yes it was. Thank you for asking.

What is the result of this lovely little parable, you may ask? Well, be warned, when a city or "town" as my neighborhood is lovingly known as, needs money, forget about rolling stops. They will issue you an ordinance fine, for the same price as a ticket, only guess who gets to keep the money? Yup, you guessed it. That inconsequential little town you live in. Instead of just asking you to volunteer at bingo, or make a donation to a fund, they will pull you over and fine you. Desperation has its limits, even for the nice towns.

Yesterday, I was a victim of that desperation. "They see me rollin, they hatin...."