I am trying this thing where I just write everyday, even if it is the most fantastically horrible and boring post in the history of written word. I figure every once in a while I will have a gem or two to actually not put you to sleep with...so read at your own risk. Just try to do it sitting up if you are already really sleepy.
It is August. The days are filling with deeper smells of dead leaves in the earliest form of fall, and the world around me is anticipating the arrival of September. It has been one year since Jared took his job at Centric. And for the first time in one year, I feel settled.
I can take out my little life mirror and glance backwards at where I just was, and make everyone jealous of my tremendously unstable life the past year. But, six jobs later (and several attempts to make it seven and eight...) I sit a two-dog-home-owning-full-time-working-long-sentance-writing-wife. O yeah, and I am in Indianapolis.
What have I learned? Is there a page limit on blog posts? Just making sure the novel I am about to write will fit...thats all. I guess I will just tell it short and sweet, as best I can. Here is my current list of life moments that need post-it's, so I don't forget them again.
1. You can't take it with you...no seriously, if it doesn't fit in your car and moving truck you can't take it with you.
With so many houses in the past year, so many life changes, so many freaking non-permanent situations in my life I was getting desperate enough to buy post-it notes just to remember what it felt like for something to stick. But, what I was so desperately trying to hold onto was an unrealistic idea of my life. More like a vision that sat in a little picture frame above my life, taunting me with its perfect painted figures in their skinny jeans (jerks) and pasty white smiles of glee. Not. Real. Ok, not that I am sitting here wallowing like a little emo kid, just saying, reality is an ever changing present that produces an absolutely unknown future. And I just have to deal. It really can be pretty awesome, the whole adventure of not knowing. It has taught me something really valuable. Use your personal life sticky notes for what really matters. Your friends (a million blessings of love and relation a billion times over). Your family, no matter how small (like just me and Jared) or large (like my aunt and her 7 kids...what?!) Trust me, after packing and unpacking 4 times in one year, you start to really evaluate how important that old tea towel really is to you. And how important the people around you come to be.
2. Do things that remind you "Hey, I'm good at stuff!"
After losing myself amongst the clutter of too many childhood items finding their way into my spare bedroom (what was I saving all that for) and not time to plug myself into anything, I hopped on the "my life is pointless train" and refused to get off even when the train station closed down. Graduating college is crazy enough. Graduating college and working a job that makes you think "Hey, I suck at things!" really just puts a damper on the whole "world at your fingertips" mantra. After my long overstayed train ride on the Pointless Express, a dear friend shook me from my stupor by telling me to do something I was good at. I know this seems obvious, but I ran out of my sticky notes before putting one on that idea, okay? So I did. And it was beyond fantastic. I like to take pictures, so I got a camera and, tada, pretty pictures oozing with my creative eye have been reeling out of my computer ever since. I love music; so I got a keyboard (as a gift) and began to write 1/2's and 1/4's of the most terrible songs ever that should never be heard by anyone who actually has functioning ears. But I loved it. I felt alive. I volunteered to love on people every week, to teach up and disciple and pour myself out. It was life changing. I do cartwheels just because I can. I crack jokes because I think I am hilarious and other people laugh at me for this, who cares if they actually think I am funny. I write in my blog because I think words are cool. I chat it up with anyone and everyone because who doesn't need a good conversation? Needless to say, I haven't used my round-trip ticket for the Pointless express in quite some time.
3. Comm.un.it.y.
Do it. Stop fighting it and trying to be "cool" and "different". Why? Because you end up looking like a fool. A fool who has nothing left when they wake up one day after all of their cool and different days. Thats when you realize you are totes not cool or different. Get with it now and don't regret it later. Live life with people. Deal with the fact that they will let you down and get over it, you let people down, too. Such is life. And let me tell you all the lows are totally worth the highs. All the "let downs" are actually beautiful reminders that we are all journeying together towards the same end. Love. Lovely, lovely, love. Sympathy, grace. And someone to punch you when you need a good right hook of sense. Someone to hug you when you need a good two arms of understanding. Someone to support you when you need to legs worth of crutches. Looking at my life with some of the girls who have defined much of my stumbling through my own life, I couldn't paint a better picture of the perfect way to look back on a life actually lived and the joy it brings me. Actually, just take like 12 of your personal life post-it's and label them "community, duh you idiot". I wish I would have enacted this rule sooner.
4. Do pointless nothing's and revel in it.
Drive and listen to music with your windows down and sing really loud. Dance in the car, in your house, with your friends. Fart and giggle. Play dress up. Drink tea and coffee outside at night. Stay up really late for no reason. Read a book when you should work on something. Lay out and look at the stars once a month. Climb on the roof to get a new perspective. Paint a room in your house. Lay on your couch and eat a piece of cake. Or just listen to music. Or nothing. Go for a walk alone. Or go with your best friend. Wear your favorite color. Start a blog. Smell the air with your eyes closed. Walk around the grocery store for fun. Ride the carousel at age 23 and let everyone else judge you. Lets be honest, they wish they had the same cool personal life post-its that you do.
5. Be completely vulnerable with at least one person...or two.
Find at least one person that, even at your ugliest moments, you don't lie. FInd someone you can't lie to, or hide from. That way the game of life peek-a-boo, now-you-see-me-now-you-don't that wears us all down is far removed and not even an option on this post it. Let someone love you like you are. It is by far the most refreshing, earth shattering post-it there is. Quite a heavy duty post-it if you know what I am sying.
6. Tell the people you love just that. That you love them. And tell them you like them, too.
You think hair cut day makes you feel awesome? Try having someone tell you everyday that they like you, and even better, they love you too. Whew. Sign me up for that post it because I feel quite fantastical as the first day of fall, plus some, when I hear this. Don't you?You can never say it enough. I am not all mushy gushy, but you can never go overkill on this one. I love hearing that I am awesome, even if I don't always think it.
7. Celebrate every little moment.
Find any and every excuse to make the little things the happiest things. Celebrate a good day. Celebrate excellent friendships. Celebrate awesome food. Celebrate your favorite holiday, time of year, favorite book or show. Celebrate a rainy day, or a sunny one. Live for it. If its your rain boots that make it perfection then, honey, you put those rain boots on. Now. Post-it those babies.
For now, my list of must post-it life moments is at a close...some day I will add more, as I learn more. Lets face it, I have a lot of learning to do, and several personal life post-its waiting to be used.
