Being the age you are...

I distinctly remember this moment in sixth grade when I bought my first pair of "high heels".

I remember how long I felt like I had waited, since I was four and putting purple plastic heels on all my Barbie Doll's. I was in Target with my mom, I had just bought my first pair of dressy black pants from 5-7-9 (Yes, I was that cool) and, don't worry, they were bellbottoms. I was walking down what seemed like endless aisles of shoes that were just ok, until I saw them. The shoes were chunky grey sandals with silver flowers stitched intricately on the straps. In my head I saw my pink toe nails peeping out of these gray sandals that I would obviously be wearing with my very trendy black bell bottoms. The thought was so magical that I felt, for the first time, the lusty feeling of exhilaration that comes with wishing your life forward. The addiction of wishing we were "just a bit older" or "just can't wait to be in this stage of life because the one I am in right now is like winter death."

So the process of rushing through my life began. When I was in sixth grade, I just KNEW things would be better in 8th grade. When I was a freshman, I just had the determined thought that Junior year would be my year, the most life-altering finish line for the happiness I was looking for. I realized as a senior that I still hadn't quite made it, so I just figured it was because I set my sights too low, because how could I forget about college?

Often, comments from other people that range from "act your age" and "stop being so immature" to "what a little adult you are", have warped our view and pressured is in all kinds of really un-fun (yup I made that a word) and detrimental ways. And our growing stops being growing and starts taking life instead of giving it.

See, I feel like God knew what He was doing when He made our brains have to "learn things". He didn't accidentally make a sixth grader have a sixth grade understanding. God loves growth, in fact He celebrates it. Some of the first things He made were things that grow, and the last thing He made, us, is never DONE growing. God made us to be exactly the age we are, in our spirit, mind and heart, when we are that age. So what are we doing wishing our days in so many other directions?

As I have been sucked into the lie masquerading as "planning my future" "looking like an adult" and "being mature", I have watched my years actually fade away from me instead of give me life. But isn't that so backwards? I have this crazy ability to forget to learn from where I am, but more importantly to celebrate the age I am. To BE the age I am.

But wouldn't it be a magical, freeing, beautiful thing to let our children, our youth, our adults and our seniors be exactly the age they are? To let them be children and play. To let them date the wrong guy for two weeks, or lecture words of wisdom, because they have a few more years under their belt.

I wish I had a fairy godmother. I wish, perhaps, that I had a time machine. A way to transport a message back to myself about being patient, waiting on my brain cells to kick in and being free in who God made me to be for exactly that moment. Ah to be content in being the age we are. To tell our past selves never to rush the days because, actually, the days will eventually seem like they are rushing themselves. To look at the small things as beautiful rights of passage at the RIGHT time, never too early or too late. What confidence we would carry into each stage of our life! There is something magical about being the age you are, celebrating your wisdom, learning your lessons and being exactly the person God intended you to be in the moment.