do we do things just because we feel safe?

or do we ever do things because it is really what we desire?

is there a difference? if there is how do we know?

sunshine don't lie to me,

if its cold it should be gray,

but not today, today, today you blind me

so lie to me anyway,

you can't linger and you can't stay,

so lie to me anyway,

its just the same,

i don't want to remember,

i don't want to remember....

Dreaming...

I had a dream last night. Nothing scary, nothing extraordinary, nothing that will change anyones world. But I think it changed mine.

I have been struggling so much lately with feeling my life has lost its point in this world. I have felt so small, insignificant, and just plain replaceable. I have felt like my desire to change the world has met me at a standstill, a plateau. But this dream...it rocked my world.

I am sure it is a mix of things that have happened of late, what with weddings and such. However, I dreamt it was my wedding day, but the audience was a myriad of faces that I would never have guessed would attend. People from high school who I haven't seen in years, people from elementary school that I have long forgotten, friends I have lost over the years. Yet I was ecstatic to see each and every one of them and excited to hear about their lives as if no time had ever passed. They clapped, they laughed with me, they shared with me. It was as if we had always been friends. When I woke up I realized something.

Each and ever person in that dream was a life that I had hoped to touch with a little love. A life that I had hoped to invest a little grace in. And each person in that dream has, in turn, affected my life in some way, changed me for the better. So I was thinking, what if God was just telling me, that just maybe, no matter how small or insignificant my life may seem when I leave here, these people have a bit of a better life because of me? What if this is a glimpse of my heaven, getting to know that somehow I touched some lives in my time on earth?

Dreaming...interpreting...maybe just a little hopeful.

Beginning a list of Always....

There are some eternal truths in the world. I feel as though my life has provided many opportunities for me to observe these truths, and now I feel obligated to share and revel in them with my three readers haha.

The beginning of the list of Always:

1. You will always think the creepy person walking behind you is following you.

I need to apologize to all of you who have been the creepy person. The person who walks uncomfortably close to someone in front of you...or just happens to be walking the same route home for no apparent reason. Maybe make a noise, or slow the walk down just a tad. Or perhaps choose a less sinister looking outfit, take off the ski-mask, or what appear to be blood stained gloves. However, if you choose to apply none of these things...just know that I will assume you are the creepy person following me.

So forgive me if I do the weave, the in and out walk, take a few random shortcuts, and put a little kick in my step. My assumptions are silly, but, the person walking too closely behind you...is always the creeper who is following you.

The Best Festivity in the World.

As many of you know, fall brings that special smile to my face. It is the yin to my yang. It is the mac to my cheese....ok I'm out, can't think of any more stupid sayings. But you get where I am going with this.

Best of all, fall brings us FESTIVITIES. Yes kiddies, that is a real, and very important word, that all must learn to share in the joy and fun of this time of year. So let me share with you just why I am so fond of the season full of happiness.

1. Free candy. Or at least a good excuse to buy lots of it.

2. Freaky weather.

3. Coffee always tastes better.

4. Who doesn't love the color burnt orange.

5. The one time a year I don't feel stupid for making my dog wear an outfit.

6. The leaves smell like forest...and I love that smell.

7. Who doesn't love a good campfire? No one? Ok who wants to invite me to a good campfire...

8. Charlie Brown celebrates two holidays in this time of year.

9. Food. Seriously. Food. The best. Food.

10. I love scarves. Not the kind that boaconstrict all your airways and look like a herd of cats, but the kind the lightly accent an otherwise boring outfit.

11. Who does not love a good pumpkin? And whats more, why not accent it with one of my favorite accesories...candles. All in all, a great combo.

Well, just a few tidbits shared to get you in the mood. Now, go celebrate in a fally festivitus way!

Adventures in Car Land

Well my friends. It is that time of year again. What's that, you say? What time of year is it? O, well nothing you shouldn't have already figured out. It is time to celebrate National Car Problems Awareness Month. What? You have never heard of this wonderful holiday? Created in honor of all those who struggle with the whole steering a car deal? Well, let me explain how people in my culture celebrate this month, or rather, how I have chosen to celebrate over the years.

In 2004 I was awarded are real beut of a car. A total gem. Diamond NOT in the rough if you will. Thats right. A 1993 Dodge Dynasty Sedan, and yes the sedan makes all the difference. If the fringe of rust and caked on mud were not enough to win your heart, then please let me assure you that it came with the glorious pleather back window and the deluxe arrow head model.

To celebrate NCPAD that year I decided to break my garage door, not once but twice, with full throttle car contact. However, my loyalty began to fade after this first celebration.

As the years passed my celebration diminished...until the past few years. In 2007 I decided to go big or go home, and backed into a bush at full speed, breaking off my side view mirror. My attempts to further the joy of the day came when re-attaching my mirror with duct tape. Shortly after my car experienced some car profiling issues for the first time in its life...and was pulled over for appearing to be "creepy", "like a robbers car". It never recovered from this day.

The following year, my Dynasty was gone, and replaced by my lil Bishi. In celebration this year of NCPAD I drove my car to a weekend getaway. Although celebrating another holidy at the same time, my spirit of celebration rose up again on one fateful day and I lost my muffler in the middle of the road.

This year, I decided to make up for my "lost years" of celebration. I had to go all out. Pull out all the stops. Bring it like it has never been brought. So...Last month I put my celebration into an unstoppable motion. First, I rammed my car into a sidewalk and blew my tire. But this was not enough. So I locked my dog in the car for an hour and refused to know how to change a spare. The next day, I felt inspired, and so I rammed an immobile car sitting in front of me at a stop light. Feeling victorious but not yet having let my celebration reach its potential, I decided to really light a fire on this celebration year. I drove my car, full speed, 50 miles an hour into a corn field, without blinking. Don't worry, I left my hubcap to commemorate the celebration of a life time.

What will happen next year, on this glorious month? Stay tuned to find out. You never know what the celebration will inspire in me. Oh, and Happy National Car Problems Awareness Month, get out there and make me proud!

Breaking Up With Myself...

I decided that today I need to break up with myself. I spend too much time with me, and sometimes I think I can save me, that I can fix me, that I can keep me company, that I can be my own community.

I think too much of me. On my list of priorities, I see me on the top way too often. And maybe it is clouded vision finally clearing, or painful walls finally crumbling, but I see all to clearly that I have been living in a fog of tiny lies.

So in honor of my break up with myself, of course, I have to listen to good break-up-with-self music. And there is one song that keeps rattling me to my core, that I think is shaking me awake from this brilliantly lame stupor I locked myself in. In the song, he talks about his father saying he is sorry from his grave...and that started the crumbling in my heart all over again.

I traced my steps back through my relationship with myself, as you often do after a break up, minus the whole reading love notes (because at least I am not that self absorbed), and I see the beginning of this funky stupor clouding over me around this time last year that I had a life altering moment with my relatives.

After a heart-wrenching first few months and an internal war that would thwart the masses, I had to testify against my own father. Not that this will shock many of you, but this merely ended a very twisted relationship with the man who, up until then, called me his daughter.

I think the hardest part of this all, was feeling alone. Feeling like there is no way people could possibly understand the pain that was underlying all of this. Despite my fathers continued absence in my life, and weak attempts at making up for it, despite all his manipulation, he is my father, and I have an undying love for the "underdogs" of the world. This situation was mentioned a few times to those who know me well, but ultimately died out in conversation, yet never in my heart.

Every day I feel guilty for "turning" on my dad, even though it was the only way to help this situation.

Everyday, I wish there could have been someone who understood without words how this situation changed my world in those few short months, how it shook me to my core...how from that moment on, everything truly changed for me. Because it was the first time in my life there was a death in my heart, of my father.

This break up song brought all this out of me, and brought me to a place of desiring community so deeply that I can't wait to move and get on with it, and get involved in others lives and love.

But I am still so afraid, because the song ends with the hallucination that the father whispers up an "I'm sorry", from his grave. When time has already run out. I so desperately hope that healing comes before then for me...and for my father. I so desperately need to know and give the forgiveness that brings closure...from breaking up with my problems and with myself.

words i fear/hope i will say one day...

"last night i had a dream,

i was in a grave yard

looking at my father

buried in the ground.

i swear that i could hear him

tell me he was sorry

and everything has changed..."

Even my organizer is confused by my life...

Ch-Ch-Changes. Is that even from a song? What is that? It just seemed to fit with the theme of this lil blog and it seemed appropriate for the three seconds it took to write it. I am semi-regretting it now, but I try to have a no delete policy....

I love waking up early on these newest of fall days and wandering down the streets surrounding my house. It's a peaceful time when my imagination can wander through each home I pass, each person I say hello to. I realize there really is no rest for adulthood. There were days of "drama" in high school when I thought, "wow there is no way life could get more out of whack than this", but whack out it has. Thus the ch-ch-changes have come.

Jared is gone most of the week, leaving me unemployed and fending for myself with all the time in the world on my hands. I am packing to move for the third time this year, and I am still trying to figure out this whole newlywed thing. I suppose the whole lets only live together for three days a week thing kinda throws a kink in things.

Yet in all these changes the season of change has come along and comforted my soul. There is something so inspiring and peaceful the creates imagination out the yin-yang for me. So, I embrace the season of change around me, but not so much the one inside of me. O how the irony plays out in my life.

It seems each year pieces of my life shed and waft to the ground, much like the leaves floating outside my window. Most of the life changing moments for me have happened in the fall. The day I truly decided to fall in love with Christ, the day my dog passed away, the days I found myself stumbling into love for the first time with my husband, the day I moved from my childhood home, now: the day I will officially move from the place that has shaped me beyond what I believed and was my first real home.

Ah the changes come, and so, as I embrace the season, so will I embrace the pieces that fall out of my life. Mmmm...feel that cold breeze...I feel a change coming.

My Life as a Loner Loser

Well, these days my life seems to be coming to a deafening, frightening, boring halt.

I spend most of my days reuniting myself with the ways of the housewife that I endured previously this year...and hoped to never return to. I just need someone to remind me that this will only last for two more months.

So my new plans are as follows, now that I have free time and absolutely nothing to fill it with:

1. Clean the house...when I am not too lazy to do so.

2. Shop for groceries...on the days I venture from the house, what glorious days are these.

3. Plan a fall party, because who doesn't want to celebrate fall. Bonfire, cider, apples and pumpkin carving. Maybe even pie if you are lucky.

4. Consider going back to school then change my mind several times over.

5. Plan my best friends bridal shower and bachelorette extravaganzas...yes "s".

6. Consider watching the ever-classic "Pretty In Pink", "Breakfast Club", and "Sixteen Candles" who doesn't need a little Molly Ringwald in their lives.

7. Watch all my fave halloween movies

8. Possible venture to the Library for a card.

9. Get crafty...if Im lucky.

Well, now that you are jealous of my exciting life, I am off to plan all my exciting new adventures. Give me any ideas you have for free time use advantage!

I think God gave us mouths so we could learn to shut them...

Do you ever have those utterly demoralizing moments when you step away from your life and wonder where you are? You say, "hold the phone (a phrase I am still trying to figure out...what else are you doing with the phone, throwing it?) how the heck did I get here?"

My time away from people has become more and more difficult, so the time I do have with friends, I spend it making myself more important. I say too much and listen too little, and overall just have repeated foot in mouth scenarios I would rather not relive. I wish my mouth would let my brain catch up to it so my mouth would recieve the "shut up" signal in time. The more we say the less we think, and I am just so tired of living on the tip of my tongue. It is exhausting to cover ever silence, to speak every word across my mind, and apologize at least once a day for not thinking. I am truly convinced that God gave me a mouth to learn how to shut it.

So...today begins some changes in my life. I have seen, and I don't like what it is. So me and Jesus, we had a chat...and changes are a'coming. Just bear with me, as I am not all I should be, but truly wish I was. And watch out for the construction cones...they can be sneaky.

No, this is not about me or my life...just writing what I feel inspired to write.

She often wonders why living sometimes feels like drowning. Maybe not quite like the usual drowning, more like losing yourself in the midst of an overflowing sea of people. The stifle of ordinary can become so hard to deny on certain days. Yet, in the still moments of the day, just as it is all coming to a close, there is a mysterious beauty to a life lived in the day to day.

Grateful for the miracle of love, hearing a sigh or two reminds her of the gift of another day.

Things That I am Not Afraid Of (and probably should be..)

Each of us have little secrets that we would probably be shunned from society for revealing. So I thought maybe I would start a trend, and go ahead and admit my own dirty little secrets of things I feel the need to apologize to society for....

1. I love, love, love Gilmore Girls. It is a sad, sad thing that sometimes I feel like they are my friends, but especially in the fall, we are bff. Forevs.

2. My current favorite rainy day/cold day movie is Twilight.

3. I have read all the Twilight books, and I am not sorry.

4. I get excited about Harry Potter. And I am not sorry.

5. I am a sap through and through. I love girly movies, but I also love action movies. So sue me for getting emotional about Pride and Prejudice.

6. I wish I could be an actress...mostly because I think it would be so fun.

7. I hate showering. Not because I am a dirty weirdo who loves b.o. But because the whole process of getting ready just takes too long...yes I am that lazy.

8. I pick my nose at least once a day. I think it is a nervous habit.

9. There are days I remember in High School that I sometimes wish I could re-do.

10. When I see "teen" movies, I secretly wish I could still be THAT ONE girl in high school...and I just graduated college.

11. I absolutely love getting lost in my imagination.

12. I wish I could just sit and create things for the rest of my life and get praise for it...

13. One time I ate an ant because my brother told me they had milk in them.

14. I forget to brush my teeth...often.

15. I hate hate hate shaving...so I look forward to jeans weather.

16. I think burping in public is funny.

17. When people fall down I can't stop laughing.

18. I get emotionally involved in things that are not real life.

19. I still get upset about people who have bangs...even if they are in style.

20. I wish babies had four phrases: "I'm hungry", "I'm tired", "I have a dirty diaper", "Something hurts". That way we wouldn't have to decode shrieks.

21. I secretly never want to settle in one place, but want to at the same time.

22. I think homeschooling is cool.

23. I still think cheerleading is a sport.

24. I know no one reads this and I still felt the need to share....

Good, better, and best

A wise woman once told me (and then repeated it several times throughout my life) that life is not often a question of right and wrong as we grow older, but one of good better and best. Having always stuck with me, this idea has directed many of my steps in my life. I don't claim to have made all the best decisions, but that is how I learn. I am just as thankful for my mistakes as my successes, because either way I am growing.

There is a song called "Picture of Jesus" and every time, it makes me think of that wise old woman, my grandmother, and the life she leads. She doesn't do it all right. She hasn't made all the right choices, that is not the key to her wonderful and full life. It is her submission to the idea that quiet service, overwhelming love, and humility are the only ways to live. I have never seen such a beautiful picture of Jesus than when I look at the lives of my grandparents. They grew up together, learned together and failed together, and that, my friends, is the church. That, my friends, is a "best" decision. Love has truly conquered all in their lives, yet I have never seen any life like theirs.

So my conclusion must be this. My life in service to Jesus will look much different than yours. The way we learn and grow may not match, but in the end, the church celebrates in this, celebrates in the moments of community that revolve around sharing life together, growing up together and failing together. There is not always necessarily right and wrong, there is different, there is mismatched, and there is good better and best. Let us love these distinctions.

It's Cliche because It's True

Lots of changes happening in the Morgan household these days, more updates on those later. But, today, I feel like I learned a valuable lesson.

It has been said to me, many a time, that Bible college can create unrealistic views of what is taboo, what is cliche and what is "lame". As I recently found myself criticising in a way reflecting these ideas, I became annoyed with myself, but this is hard habit to break, mind you, after it seems to be instilled in you as much as your weekely memory verses.

But today, I read an article about early marrige, compliments Anne Durham and Christianity Today, and something just snapped. So many things in this article would seem, to the average Bible College student, cliche or silly or "old news" as though we are entitled. All I found in this article was truth. Plain, simple truth. The problem is, we don't want to hear it, or we want to over-intellectualize it. We want to make it harder than it is. But truth is what it is. The end.

I believe this is where we get cliches. There is another saying that goes "It's cliche because it is true". It is so refreshing to just accept this. Yes there are falsities out there, but a lot of times the things that we so often dismiss or ignore are the quiet, simple things God desires us to truly learn in the first place. And chances are, the more we dismiss them the less we have learned of them, because anyone who has truly learned something in their heart, will always have a fondness of this memory, rather than contempt and a "too cool" attitude.

Buck up Christians, lets be honest, if you are a Christian, you are not too cool...in fact you are probobly not even cool. So lets be honest here and examine even the most cliche things we turn our noses up to, there is always ALWAYS something to learn.

I had a decent drive home yesterday and a dead phone, equally lots of quality thinking time. I came to realize something.

I have really been struggling with contentedness in different situations throughout my life thus far. As I tried to sort through the meaning behind this I found myself realizing it was because my idea of who I am and God's idea of who I am are different. I value myself much to highly in the grand scheme of God's purpose, and often view my menial tasks as purposeless. My conclusion...my submission to God has become some sort of conditional idea where I think I need to feel like I am being used or noticed. How sad, and incredibly selfish my service has become.

Sifting through all of this I have come to see that where I am is where I am, and never is it on accident. I may not be in ministry. I may not feel like I am placed in a situation where I am using my gifts or potential, but that kind of is the point. Contentedness cannot be situational, and for me it has become all about what I think of my situation. No wonder being submissive to God has eluded me this year. My incomplete view of God has caused my useful potential and growth to suffer. It is so silly for us to think that we should only do things where we are gifted. God must grow us somehow, and challenging our weakness is really the only way.

I am not above what I am doing as a nanny, or a wife, or a friend. I am not above the ordinary life, and I have no right to go around trying to change every circumstance I am placed in. If I am in rhythm with my Father, then I am exactly where He wants me. He reminded me of this:

He has never promised me I will be content with everything in my life, but He has assured me He will make me LEARN to be content in everything.

A Piece of My Heart Will Always Be in the Crossroads...

Though my experiences in the past months have been exciting and led me near and far, there is nothing quite like the feeling of being home. I mean real home. I know it is so cliche, but mainly because it is true, home is where the heart is, mine just happens to be stuck back in Indiana.

I miss my home. Pretty badly. I know I sound much like a whiny two year old, and believe me, do I know how they sound. I miss my girls. I know they are merely a car ride from me, but walking distance would be so much better. My new home is nice and all, but it just isn't home yet. My heart has not charted its path here to Covington and as much as a try and force it to, its hiking boots and road map to my new place remain untouched as of late.

I know these things take time. I know people are worse off than I. But if I am honest for just a minute...I just miss the places and the people that made me...me.

Just call me the great learner....

I am still learning. I am pretty sure that whole process will endure me to me end. There are days where I look learning in the face and say "stop it, I am tired of growing. I want to rest a little bit."

I soon realize learning doesn't care too much weather I want to rest a bit.

Daily I see in my words and actions that I am not who I should be. This can be frustrating for someone who tends to analyze their likeability on a regular basis, a typical shortcoming of mine. But as learning keeps popping its little head in my life, I begin to see a transformation slowly taking charge. I have no doubt that God is moving on every aspect of my life, I just know that it may not be all the obvious sometimes. Even so, there are so many times I feel as though my struggle forward is against a dead weight wall. But again, learning tells me, this is all part of the process, to become a better version of the woman God has called me to be.

Refinement is never easy, and I guess I should just stop expecting it to be. My pride is broken daily, but I suppose I prefer this method to the "one fell swoop and it all fell apart" idea.

But...if there is anything I have gained from learning it is the humbling reality that I am not done yet. The reality that I am not wholly who I am supposed to be. And with that the understanding that no one else is quite there either. So each day my grace for others failings and misunderstandings must be big enough to cover my own shortcomings, if not, than who do I think I am? Someone worthy of judging others so righteously and indignantly?

So graciously excuse my construction signs, my "do not cross tape" and my tacky yellow and orange neon warnings. These are not meant to defer you, but simply let you know to I still have a little furthur to go. And in turn, I too, will do my best to pour a little cement on your potholes too.

"This year, this month, or, more likely, this very day, we have failed to practice ourselves the kind of behavior we expect from other people." - CS Lewis.

Hello Humility, my name is Caitlin...I believe we have met several times....

The Snoopy to my Charlie Brown

Yes, we caved. Couldn't help ourselves. We found our newest addition at a Petsmart and she melted our hearts.

Meet Olive. She is now 8 weeks old, and precious as can be. She has had a bit of a traumatizing three days with us, what with her stitches coming out and having to go be cleaned, stapled and having an infection. But all is well now with this lil pup and she is well on her way to being mischievous! Can't wait to see her grow up!

I got Marriaged.....and not for pretend!

Weird, weird...and fantastic. Three words to sum up my whole two weeks of marriage experience. 

When I was little, I used to try on my mom's wedding shoes and think about what my wedding would be like. Thank goodness I didn't stick with plan a, b, or c or mine could have ended up like Barbie's Dream 90's wedding. All those things together equal quite a plaid and platform shoe disaster if you know what I am saying.

 I also remember the many boys who caught my attention from third grade on (that is  my first chronicled crush you know...diary form and all). My taste slowly changed over the years, even though I seldom liked to admit to any sort of crushes I had. Yet again, thank goodness I did not stick to plan a, b, or c in that department either...sorry Shane, it just would not have worked out between us. The whole lets go out but not talk to each other...ever...isn't really building on a lasting relationship. Don't be mad.

But you know what I did get right, those many many years ago in my mothers woven wedding shoes (yes, I did indeed say woven). That I would love the man I married with all my heart, and would pray for him to come find me. That he would be my best friend, and be just as weird as I am (a hard thing to match as many know).  Then came Jared. My best friend, my love, and pretty much the best match for me ever. Lets be honest, few men can match my weirdness, but he surely takes the cake. So...I got married, when I found this guy. And it has been the weirdest, most challenging, fun, exhilarating, loving experience of my life to date. 

I have no doubt I have much to learn, but thanks to those old wedding shoes, I think I got a pretty good start. 

Who invented the stay at home gig?

After some-teen odd years of schooling, I am finally free...and absolutely BORED. I suppose employment would help to fend off this boredom...but for the time being I am weirdly enough what some call a "stay at home wife". Not by choice, mostly by economy failure. 

So, here are some chronicles of what I have learned in my stay at home-ness adventures. 

1. Folding laundry is really daunting, even when you have nothing better to do.

2. A room can never be too clean, after all you have all the time in the world. 

3. Grocery shopping can be exciting, an excuse to leave the house.

4. Being bored makes you want to eat...a lot. 

5. Phone calls from friends become prized possessions.

6. Online shows are my hero!

7. I will be SO GLAD when I start working again...so so glad.

So kids, hopefully by the next time I update I will be more like a working girl and less like a bump on a log. Tune in next time for more helpful findings. 

Things are a brewin'

Well folks, the day has finally come, when I am kicked into the real world. But before I arrive there, a few things that I will miss about fake adulthood...

-Staying up till 1 am and then going to class or work at 7

-Watching girlie movies with girls

-"Renting" movies from other peoples rooms

-The unlimited closet that is your roommates clothes

-Making decisions but not really having any real consequences

-Fake jobs that don't pay very much but are lots of fun

-Feeling like you aren't really spending money when you use your extra loan money for other things...

-Making music videos (Jared would never do that with me)

-Living on veggie burgers

-Feeling guilty having boys in my house

-Being too poor to see even a Danberry movie

-Buying all off brand food (well, that won't change)

-Taking random road trips

-Spring Break extravaganzas in many different states, but usually in North Carolina for some reason

-Working only one job

-Driving on low fuel so long you almost have a panic attack

-Spending money on non-essentials just because you can

-Going home to do laundry and eat real food

-Knowing that when I walk in the door, the people inside will understand, because they are girls

-Having nothing to do all day except go to two classes, just because I am in college

Being in the exact same stage of life as everyone around me...

Having no money, but still not worrying about surviving...

Great things about real adulthood?

-living with my bestest friend ever

-decorating my own house

-living in my own neighborhood

-not going to class anymore

-getting by on random jobs but smiling everyday because it is fun

-being poor and married, its fun to start that way!

-having my own lil family

-starting new traditions

-getting a cat

-being forced into responsibility ( i mean it had to happen sometime)

-having people over whenever i want

-having cookouts

-having a backyard...

whatever else may come my way...

Real adulthood...here I come!

Just when you think its over....

Life can get like a really annoying show choir routine. If anyone has ever seen a show choir, you might know what I am talking about. The ending that keeps on ending. The song stops, they freeze...you think its over...NOPE! There are five different drum beats with lengthened pauses in between to create five fake endings, before the final pose strikes and you are allowed to clap and move on with your life.

Well, I suppose things have to be a bit surprising in life, otherwise what fun is left? Who really wants to know the ending of a good story? So, keep it coming life, keep the surprises coming. Extra payment on taxes, no honeymoon, fugly house...bring it all on life. I have my war paint on and some band-aids in my back pocket. I might need to borrow some neosporin from someone, so if you are feeling generous...you know where to reach me. 

Keep your chin up readers, the surprises only make it worth living...

Well, just call me Charlie...Charlie Brown

Strangely enough, the person I identify with the most is a cartoon character. I suppose this could speak volumes about my life as a whole, even on a psychological level. However, let me just say when Ol' Charlie goes to kick that football and Lucy moves it EVERYTIME...well I feel like I am watching my own life unfold in an eerie way. 

I think we would be friends, me and Charlie. Lets reference one of my favorite episodes; "It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown." Charlie spends hours raking leaves, only to have them scattered by the flustered Linus. This is shortly followed by Lucy tricking him, yet again, into trying to kick the football. Its like, really Charlie, after decades of missing it...yet again, you are going to try again? Well, why not, right? After all, it is pretty entertaining. Charlie just blunders on with a few "Good Grief!" 's thrown in. I love it because, well, nothing seems to phase him.

Here is the great thing, who doesn't love a good Charlie Brown episode? We all know what's coming when Lucy pulls out her party invitation list, or when she sets up that football. But, he makes me feel like life will be ok. The everyday little catastrophes of an ordinary life match up pretty well with this little fellow. Charlie...he is pretty ordinary, and you know what, that is why I like him. It always ends up just fine, at the end of the day. 

So, if you please, just call me Charlie Brown. And if you want, read my thoughts on everyday, ordinary life. Maybe you will enjoy them...